I remember when I first put the Brobdingnagian Bards on MP3.com and started to learn the ropes. I would listen daily to music there, but I never listened to bands that were higher in the charts than we were because I didn’t want to boost their ratings any more than they already were.

I guess greedy. It totally dog-eat-dog. But it wasn’t until I started to listen to my own advice that I started to make some changes and helping my fellow musicians. And it wasn’t until I started to help you that our success took off.

Yeah, there are many reasons why we’ve done consistently well on the mp3.com charts, but one of the main ones is that I’ve been willing to scratch someone elses back with no expectation of a return. And while there’s no expectation, there always is a return.

It’s one of those great conundrums, I guess. I mean, how is it possible that when you help someone else You will benefit… Yet I’m amazed to see that it happens. And it happens all the time.

The more I am willing to give, the greater my return.

Just yesterday, I got an email from a Nagian (one of our fans) saying he loved our music and would do everything he could to promote us. Just ask.

But the only thing I can do is to humbly ask him to turn around and see if he needs his back scratched.

Bard Marc Gunn of the Brobdingnagian Bards has helped 1000’s of musicians make money with their musical groups through the Bards Crier Music Marketing and Promotion Ezine and the Texas Musicians’ Texas Music Biz Tips. Now you can get personal advice by visiting http://www.bardscrier.com for FREE “how-to” music marketing assistance.

No time to visit the site? Subscribe to the BardsCrier.com distributed weekly for Free. Just email subscribe@bardscrier.com

There is a rather famous true story called “Acres of Diamonds”.

It is about a successful farmer who risks everything searching the African continent for diamonds. Ultimately he dies sick and penniless, while the new owner of his farm uncovers on his property the largest single diamond ever known to man.

Point of fact: After helping hundreds of thousands of entrepreneurs and business owners, I’ll lay odds that story is true for YOU in more ways than you are currently willing to admit to yourself.

No matter where you are on the success continuum, your ability to generate tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars in immediate windfall income is well within your reach. I know firsthand, because everyday, I am paid handsomely to do just
that by my clients and associates.

Now, no one likes to be told that they are sitting on a diamond mine, especially when they don’t see it for themselves. So please allow me to give you some advice which could potentially generate a cash jackpot of between $10,000 and $1,000,000 almost overnight.

“What’s the secret?”, you ask impatiently.

I’ll tell you flat out: Your hidden wealth is buried in your email list…it’s hiding in your client list…and it lies dormant in your vendor list. I could go on and on.

Here’s the secret in a nutshell: One of the places your hidden wealth lies is in the trusted relationships you’ve cultivated with people over the years.

Let me prove my point with a quick example. I recently did a consult with a client who has a wonderful nutritional product. His own clients are very enthusiastic about the results they get. At the same time, although he is successful, he is also cash poor. He needs a cash infusion of hundreds of
thousands of dollars to be able to fund the building up of his business.

What’s the solution? A banker? An angel investor? A partner? Venture capital? Maybe, but I think there might be an easier way.

Here’s what I suggested to him: I told him to write a heartfelt letter to his most devoted clients which tells his story and includes an offer that they pre-pay for a year’s worth of his product to help him build his company. In return
for their support, they’ll receive very preferential discounts and unique bonuses from him.

Will the strategy it work? Maybe. Maybe not. We won’t know until we test it. But the premise is sound because the odds are exceedingly high that many of his clients will empathize with him and want to be a part of his success by helping
achieve his goals. Why? Because they trust him.

Now some of you will be a bit hard headed and say “But I don’t have a product” or “I don’t have a client list” or “I don’t have a business”.

So let me say it again: YOUR windfall opportunity lies in the trusted relationships YOU have cultivated. And your wealth-building opportunities will be kaleidoscopically different from everybody else’s.

Here another way of looking it:

Wealth = Opportunity = Trusted Relationships

Now here’s the big question. Whether you own a business or not, how can you put this information into action immediately?

My answer for you: Well, the most success-certain way I know is by engineering joint ventures with people. It’s my absolute favorite way of building businesses…generating enduring streams of income…and especially creating instant windfall profits. Of the $7 Billion in profits I am credited with, at
least $2.5 Billion has been generated doing lucrative joint ventures.

Solely by learning how to become a joint venture deal-maker who understands the money-making opportunities and “money connections” that exist all around you, you could turn-around almost any problem…make almost any amount of money you
desire…and live a life most people only dream of.

Try it! I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised the results you achieve.

Jay Abraham has been hailed as America’s #1 Marketing Genius by leading national publications such as Investor’s Business Daily, Forbes Magazine, USA Today, Entrepreneur, Success Magazine, and The New York Times. Jay recently released
his life’s work on joint ventures with expert dealmaker Marc Goldman. To learn the secrets behind his $2.5 billion success, go to http://www.jvmastery.com

No social theory has been more influential and, later, more reviled than psychoanalysis. It burst upon the scene of modern thought, a fresh breath of revolutionary and daring imagination, a Herculean feat of model-construction, and a challenge to established morals and manners. It is now widely considered nothing better than a confabulation, a baseless narrative, a snapshot of Freud’s tormented psyche and thwarted 19th century Mitteleuropa middle class prejudices.

Most of the criticism is hurled by mental health professionals and practitioners with large axes to grind. Few, if any, theories in psychology are supported by modern brain research. All therapies and treatment modalities - including medicating one’s patients - are still forms of art and magic rather than scientific practices. The very existence of mental illness is in doubt - let alone what constitutes “healing”. Psychoanalysis is in bad company all around.

Some criticism is offered by practicing scientists - mainly experimentalists - in the life and exact (physical) sciences. Such diatribes frequently offer a sad glimpse into the critics’ own ignorance. They have little idea what makes a theory scientific and they confuse materialism with reductionism or instrumentalism and correlation with causation.

Few physicists, neuroscientists, biologists, and chemists seem to have plowed through the rich literature on the psychophysical problem. As a result of this obliviousness, they tend to proffer primitive arguments long rendered obsolete by centuries of philosophical debates.

Science frequently deals matter-of-factly with theoretical entities and concepts - quarks and black holes spring to mind - that have never been observed, measured, or quantified. These should not be confused with concrete entities. They have different roles in the theory. Yet, when they mock Freud’s trilateral model of the psyche (the id, ego, and superego), his critics do just that - they relate to his theoretical constructs as though they were real, measurable, “things”.

The medicalization of mental health hasn’t helped either.

Certain mental health afflictions are either correlated with a statistically abnormal biochemical activity in the brain - or are ameliorated with medication. Yet the two facts are not ineludibly facets of the same underlying phenomenon. In other words, that a given medicine reduces or abolishes certain symptoms does not necessarily mean they were caused by the processes or substances affected by the drug administered. Causation is only one of many possible connections and chains of events.

To designate a pattern of behavior as a mental health disorder is a value judgment, or at best a statistical observation. Such designation is effected regardless of the facts of brain science. Moreover, correlation is not causation. Deviant brain or body biochemistry (once called “polluted animal spirits”) do exist - but are they truly the roots of mental perversion? Nor is it clear which triggers what: do the aberrant neurochemistry or biochemistry cause mental illness - or the other way around?

That psychoactive medication alters behavior and mood is indisputable. So do illicit and legal drugs, certain foods, and all interpersonal interactions. That the changes brought about by prescription are desirable - is debatable and involves tautological thinking. If a certain pattern of behavior is described as (socially) “dysfunctional” or (psychologically) “sick” - clearly, every change would be welcomed as “healing” and every agent of transformation would be called a “cure”.

The same applies to the alleged heredity of mental illness. Single genes or gene complexes are frequently “associated” with mental health diagnoses, personality traits, or behavior patterns. But too little is known to establish irrefutable sequences of causes-and-effects. Even less is proven about the interaction of nature and nurture, genotype and phenotype, the plasticity of the brain and the psychological impact of trauma, abuse, upbringing, role models, peers, and other environmental elements.

Nor is the distinction between psychotropic substances and talk therapy that clear-cut. Words and the interaction with the therapist also affect the brain, its processes and chemistry - albeit more slowly and, perhaps, more profoundly and irreversibly. Medicines - as David Kaiser reminds us in “Against Biologic Psychiatry” (Psychiatric Times, Volume XIII, Issue 12, December 1996) - treat symptoms, not the underlying processes that yield them.

So, what is mental illness, the subject matter of Psychoanalysis?

Someone is considered mentally “ill” if:

His conduct rigidly and consistently deviates from the typical, average behavior of all other people in his culture and society that fit his profile (whether this conventional behavior is moral or rational is immaterial), or

His judgment and grasp of objective, physical reality is impaired, and

His conduct is not a matter of choice but is innate and irresistible, and

His behavior causes him or others discomfort, and is

Dysfunctional, self-defeating, and self-destructive even by his own yardsticks.

Descriptive criteria aside, what is the essence of mental disorders? Are they merely physiological disorders of the brain, or, more precisely of its chemistry? If so, can they be cured by restoring the balance of substances and secretions in that mysterious organ? And, once equilibrium is reinstated - is the illness “gone” or is it still lurking there, “under wraps”, waiting to erupt? Are psychiatric problems inherited, rooted in faulty genes (though amplified by environmental factors) - or brought on by abusive or wrong nurturance?

These questions are the domain of the “medical” school of mental health.

Others cling to the spiritual view of the human psyche. They believe that mental ailments amount to the metaphysical discomposure of an unknown medium - the soul. Theirs is a holistic approach, taking in the patient in his or her entirety, as well as his milieu.

The members of the functional school regard mental health disorders as perturbations in the proper, statistically “normal”, behaviors and manifestations of “healthy” individuals, or as dysfunctions. The “sick” individual - ill at ease with himself (ego-dystonic) or making others unhappy (deviant) - is “mended” when rendered functional again by the prevailing standards of his social and cultural frame of reference.

In a way, the three schools are akin to the trio of blind men who render disparate descriptions of the very same elephant. Still, they share not only their subject matter - but, to a counter intuitively large degree, a faulty methodology.

As the renowned anti-psychiatrist, Thomas Szasz, of the State University of New York, notes in his article “The Lying Truths of Psychiatry”, mental health scholars, regardless of academic predilection, infer the etiology of mental disorders from the success or failure of treatment modalities.

This form of “reverse engineering” of scientific models is not unknown in other fields of science, nor is it unacceptable if the experiments meet the criteria of the scientific method. The theory must be all-inclusive (anamnetic), consistent, falsifiable, logically compatible, monovalent, and parsimonious. Psychological “theories” - even the “medical” ones (the role of serotonin and dopamine in mood disorders, for instance) - are usually none of these things.

The outcome is a bewildering array of ever-shifting mental health “diagnoses” expressly centred around Western civilization and its standards (example: the ethical objection to suicide). Neurosis, a historically fundamental “condition” vanished after 1980. Homosexuality, according to the American Psychiatric Association, was a pathology prior to 1973. Seven years later, narcissism was declared a “personality disorder”, almost seven decades after it was first described by Freud.

Sam Vaknin ( samvak.tripod.com ) is the author of Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited and After the Rain - How the West Lost the East. He served as a columnist for Global Politician, Central Europe Review, PopMatters, Bellaonline, and eBookWeb, a United Press International (UPI) Senior Business Correspondent, and the editor of mental health and Central East Europe categories in The Open Directory and Suite101.

Until recently, he served as the Economic Advisor to the Government of Macedonia.

Visit Sam’s Web site at samvak.tripod.com

“You can’t always get what you want . . .” The Rolling Stones will soon be singing this refrain at venues around the world, as they embark on a year-long concert tour in August.

This song, now decades old, addresses a universal truth. Here’s the rest of the refrain:

You can’t always get what you want . . . But if you try sometimes You just might find You get what you need.

What is it that you really wanted and didn’t get? The affections of a person who was with someone else? That dream job? The last cinnamon-raisin bagel snapped up by the customer in front of you?

These scenarios range from trivial to potentially life-changing, but they all have one thing in common:

WHEN YOU DON’T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU WANT IT EVEN MORE.

Here are three reasons why this is so:

1. Heightened attention: When something is hard to get (or forbidden) you immediately pay more attention to it. Notice that when you are on a restricted diet, you sometimes get too focused on what you “can’t” eat. This heightened attention — which can escalate into obsession — makes the forbidden food seem very important. Your inner brat takes advantage of this, and tries to convince you that you MUST have that chocolate or pizza.

2. Perceived scarcity: When something is scarce or in short supply, its perceived value increases. You want it more because you think other people also want it. If you’ve ever bid at auctions or on eBay, you know the experience of that last-minute excitement as you watch the bids spiral upward. The more people who bid, the more you’re willing to pay for the item. Your inner brat wants it at any price.

3. “Psychological Reactance”: People don’t like to be told they can’t have or can’t do something. It’s related to not wanting to be controlled by others, especially if the situation feels unfair or arbitrary. The “reactance” is both emotional and behavioral.

The emotional part is your inner brat saying, “Oh yeah? I can’t have what I want? Just try and stop me!”

The behavioral component is what you do about it, which usually involves some type of rebellious reaction. You see this with teenagers whose parents have forbidden them to date certain people. Reactance also explains why a “Wet Paint” sign always invites unwanted fingerprints on the newly painted surface.

Next time you don’t get what you want, ask yourself whether one of the above factors has influenced your desire. If so, let go of the pursuit. Your inner brat won’t be happy, but ultimately (in the words of the Rolling Stones,) you “might just find [that] you get what you need.”

Brand new precise GPS readings taken on the 16-17th September have established that Mount Blanc amounts to 4810.6 m. Mount-Blanc is layered by a deep icecap which has augmented by 2.1 metres in scarcely 2 years furthermore more surprising the amount of the ice and snow has just about doubled up . At any rate that is as reported by the scientists.

The bulk of snow and ice was calculated for the first time in 2003. It was measured at 14600 metres cubed higher up than 4750 m. It equaled only 13700 metres cubed in 2000 maybe owing to the warmth with positive temperatures even at 4850 m elevation. Nonetheless the ice has virtually doubled up since then and now numbers 23000 meters cubed.

Chamonix’s respected near by weather forecaster Michael Viator said the growth in the size of the ice-cap is among the contrary outcomes of global warming: Snow has not augmented overall in the Alps only with the climate change we are seeing a lot of hot prevailing westerly air currents that bring rain at lower altitudes however in summer this means compact snow that rests higher up than 3600 metres altitude thus the volume of the ice cap is rising. Contrast this to the state of affairs during wintertime where snow crystals are extremely cold and are transported by air currents so don’t settle on the top.

Chamonix France is not only renowned for Mount Blanc it is also a world renowned snowboarding area and alpinism center with lot’s of ski deals and chalet deals to be found.

Many modern risk takers will likely have learned of the phrase “offshore sports betting” recently, though some aren’t completely in the know what that suggests. A foreign gaming internet site essentially runs extraneous to the authority of a particular state but alternatively it can mean an internet based gaming site which places its servers inside the borders of a state in which on-line gaming isn’t currently proscribed. Concisely then, it’s a gambling site operative outside of the rule of the country of the client. Machine-accessible sports wagering web sites are today modulated via 3 organisations. They are the OSGA (the Offshore Gaming Association), IGC (Interactive Gaming Council) and finally the Fidelity Trust Gaming Association (the FTGA).

The OSGA are an independent watch-dog institute which checks the offshore sports betting industry with the task of to also deliver sports bettors the means to quickly choose legitimate sites to play games of fate on, without anguish. The association seeks to guard client’s rights, and also they don’t impose any yearly costs.

The association is a proficient not to mention neutral third party association that conveys equitable impressions, suggested by your feedback, unbiased investigation, phone calls, inside information furthermore dispenses industry information.

The IGC is a not-for-profit administration. The organization has been set up to allow an arena for curious parties to discuss subjects and in addition to shared matters in the international online gaming business, in an effort to establish civil and also healthy industry guidelines and practices which heighten consumer certainty in web based wagering commodities and benefits, and to help as the industry’s global practise advisor furthermore it acts as a data depot.

The Interactive Gaming Council have made a reputation for upholding trustworthiness, integrity also credibility through its tough standards, and also its appeal to businesses of high standing. The IGC regularizes overseas betting via advocating a specific ten step basic procedure manual and in addition bills sports gambling internet sites a license fee for featuring the council’s logo. Disgruntled gamblers may, if they demand to, recount any of their conflicts to the IGC.

The FTGA has been founded in an effort to produce a standard to upgrade the transactions of online betting web sites. The IGC trust that by conducting trade entirely with reputable businesses, they can mold a membership of the fairest and professional overseas gaming businesses worldwide.

To recap, these are bodies that review the behavior of online betting and which should in time help to mitigate most if not all of the fears experienced by skeptics. Live sports gaming internet sites are actually harmless, now that private data are not requested and in addition the payments and the odds are equivalent to common Vegas-style wager. They lower traveling time, but retain of a Nevada casino, however nowadays you may bet at your computer.

sports bet

I have been practicing Yoga for close to 5 years now. Prior to this time, my life had been a day-to-day existence erected by symptoms of depression and low self-esteem. Aggravated by marring acne and burdensome Asthma symptoms, not feeling depressed was usually a rare occurrence. A rare occurrence that is; until I discovered Yoga and how it could help with depression treatment.

It’s not a surprise that I was not alone during this time as research has shown that some form of depression treatment medication is offered to over 20 million Americans annually. However, what should be the main cause of concern are the many side effects common to these anti-depression drugs. Effective as they may be for a while, it’s been noted that these depression drugs have several side effects which may include nausea, fatigue, insomnia and some sexual dysfunctions.

Thankfully, as with nearly any human ailment, at least in its not fatal stages, drug-free healing is not limited to curing any discomfort-including depression and this without these side-effects. One standout alternative for depression treatment my friends will be the incomparable Yoga.

How is this so? Well, first of all, with Yoga and its gentle movements and poses,
Alpha waves (relaxation) and Theta waves (unconscious memory, dreams and emotions) tend to increase significantly after its execution. This finding is based on a Scandinavian study conducted by Eric Hoffman, Ph.D., that measured brain waves before and after a two-hour Yoga class.

As a result, you tend to have more contact with your own subconscious and emotions. Moreover, after its use, alpha waves increases in the right temporal region of the brain as other studies have shown that people with depression tend to have more alpha activity in the left frontal-temporal region, while optimistic, extroverted people have more alpha activity on the right.

Moreover, with the execution of Yoga, a noted reduction in the hormone known as cortisol and increase in the hormone prolactin occurswhich is believed by many professionals to be the key in producing the anti-depressant effect of electroshock therapy

If this all sounds a bit advanced, perhaps a simpler illustration of how Yoga works effectively for depression treatment may be that it exercises the motor centers of the brain, making the blood flow away from the emotional activity center; consequently one becomes more receptive to positive thoughts.

Although this can be accomplished by the use of several Yoga poses, I will narrow the wide array of choices down to three simple yet very effective ones namely the Sun Salutations, Shoulder Stand and Relaxation poses.

Depression Treatment: Choice of Yoga Poses for depression help

1. The Sun Salutations:

The sun exercises stimulates and balances all systems of the body including the endocrine and nervous systems that have marked effects on our emotions, furthermore they induce deep breathing, which has been known over the ages to help alleviate many a stressful situation. Performed in rounds of 3, they actually are a combination of very simple movements executed in a flowing motion. Although they are usually a warm up to other Yoga poses, they can stand on their own as a Yoga session so you may not have to spend too much time to reap Yoga’s benefits as an alternative treatment for depression.

2. The Shoulder- Stand:

In spite of what its name may suggest, no worries, this pose is indeed very easy to execute and is the one pose that both old and new Yoga Instructors and writers view as near panacea for most human ailments including depression. It is essentially a very easy inversion pose that I see most kids practicing unknowingly…most of us have at some point, so again, it’s really easy. Being that you’re inverted, everything is turned upside down, throwing a new light on old behavioral patterns. Working together with its counter poses, you will see for yourself what this pose can do for depression treatment.

3. The Relaxation Pose:

Daddy of them all! As the name suggests; it involves lying motionless on one’s back with emphasis on deep, even breathing and meditation. It is usually performed for several minutes to alleviate stress and mental tension and positive affirmations such as helpful verses from religious books could be mentally repeated during its execution.
Being a Christian myself, one of my favorite verses while executing this pose will be a personalized derivative of Rom 12: 2-”I am being transformed by the renewing of my thoughts.”

Depression Treatment: Closing Thoughts on Other Factors.

No one is saying that Yoga POSES alone will be the end all be all of your depression. No. Poses alone DO NOT constitute Yoga. Breathing exercises (known as pranayama), Meditation, (which could be rooted in your religious or spiritual beliefs) and a proper diet-all being important limbs of Yoga, should be used in your use of Yoga for depression treatment.

These limbs will be subjects of other articles to save space; however, for a depression treatment alternative without unwanted and oft times harmful side effects, dare I say drug-free healing using simple Yoga principles and natural methods might be your best bet, it did work for me.

So the next time depression sends you to the doctor, you may do well to ask for a new prescription for depression treatment-Yoga. I believe it won’t hurt and possibly could help you immensely.

Foras Aje is an independent researcher and author of Fitness: Inside and out, a book on improving physical and mental health naturally. For additional information on depression treatment go to http://www.bodyhealthsoul.com/depression.htm

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Nominated for 12 Golden Globes and 61 Emmys, including 4 for Outstanding Drama Series, The X-Files is one of the world’s most popular science-fiction drama shows. Premiering in the Fall of 1993 on the Fox Network, home of popular programs such as The Simpsons (1989) and King Of The Hill (1997), The X-Files created an entire fictional world of conspiracies and secret organizations, building a legion of fanatic followers as devoted to the series as Trekkies are to Star Trek. Creator Cris Carter, a former writer for numerous TV shows in the late-80s/early-90s - The Nanny (1993) is one example - brings together the finest aspects of suspense-laden spy novels and alien science fiction. The result is one of the top sci-fi franchises ever produced, spawning its own line of merchandise and even a full length feature film - The X-Files: Fight The Future (1998). With nine successful seasons to its credit, The X-Files is one of the longest-running sci-fi series in television history…

The X-Files follows the exploits of four FBI agents assigned to investigate a series of unsolved and mysterious cases known only as “The X-Files”. FBI special agents Fox Mulder (David Duchovny), Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson), John Doggett (Robert Patrick), and Monica Reyes (Annabeth Gish) are the primary agents investigating these unusual cases which could never be solved by conventional investigatory methods. But Mulder and Scully in particular play prominent roles in the series. The partnership and friendship the two develop during the course of the series sets the tone for their investigations into the paranormal with Scully, a medical doctor, playing the skeptic to Mulder’s deeply held beliefs in widespread government conspiracies and alien abductions. Through the course of the series, The X-Files covers a wide-range of frightening and mysterious subjects from killer insects and secret world government organizations to the colonization of Earth by parasitic aliens. In so doing, it adds its own unique brand of humor and an original blend of creativity that fans of the genre will certainly appreciate…

The X-Files (Season 4) DVD features a number of suspense riddled episodes including the season premiere “Herrenvolk” in which an alien bounty hunter is hot on the trail of Mulder and Jeremiah Smith. Jeremiah takes Mulder to a farm to hideout, a farm populated by identical girls who are clones of his sister (and all of them being of the same age when she was abducted). When the bounty hunter discovers them, he kills Jeremiah. Meanwhile, the Syndicate fears a traitor is within its ranks, and it will go to any lengths necessary to eliminate the problem… Other notable episodes from Season 4 include “Tunguska” in which a rock with Martian origins threatens to have dangerous implications for humanity at large, and “Synchrony” in which Mulder suspects that a scientist is involved in a time travel expedition in order to stop his own creation from becoming reality…

Below is a list of episodes included on The X-Files (Season 4) DVD:

Episode 74 (Herrenvolk) Air Date: 10-04-1996
Episode 75 (Home) Air Date: 10-11-1996
Episode 76 (Teliko) Air Date: 10-18-1996
Episode 77 (Unruhe) Air Date: 10-27-1996
Episode 78 (The Field Where I Died) Air Date: 11-03-1996
Episode 79 (Sanguinarium) Air Date: 11-10-1996
Episode 80 (Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man) Air Date: 11-17-1996
Episode 81 (Tunguska) Air Date: 11-24-1996
Episode 82 (Terma) Air Date: 12-01-1996
Episode 83 (Paper Hearts) Air Date: 12-15-1996
Episode 84 (El Mundo Gira) Air Date: 01-12-1997
Episode 85 (Leonard Betts) Air Date: 01-26-1997
Episode 86 (Never Again) Air Date: 02-02-1997
Episode 87 (Memento Mori) Air Date: 02-09-1997
Episode 88 (Kaddish) Air Date: 02-16-1997
Episode 89 (Unrequited) Air Date: 02-23-1997
Episode 90 (Tempus Fugit) Air Date: 03-16-1997
Episode 91 (Max) Air Date: 03-23-1997
Episode 92 (Synchrony) Air Date: 04-13-1997
Episode 93 (Small Potatoes) Air Date: 04-20-1997
Episode 94 (Zero Sum) Air Date: 04-27-1997
Episode 95 (Elegy) Air Date: 05-04-1997
Episode 96 (Demons) Air Date: 05-11-1997
Episode 97 (Gethsemane) Air Date: 05-18-1997

About the Author

Britt Gillette is author of The DVD Report, a blog where you can find more reviews like this one of The X-Files (Season 4) DVD.

Are you ignoring the backstabbing and drama in your office? Do you walk away from conflict instead of facing it? Are you afraid to look at your sales report for the last quarter? Perhaps your staff is on the Drama Triangle. What’s worse, you are also on it but you just don’t know it.

The Drama Triangle is a model developed by Dr. Stephen Karpman that can be used to quickly assess behaviors that are creating dysfunction at work. The model looks like an upside down triangle and the positons on the points of the triangle are victim, rescuer and persecutor, with victim taking the bottom point.

The three positions, or roles indicate behavioral and emotional responses to interpersonal and intrapersonal conflict. The patterns show up at home or at work.

If you manage or supervise people, you have already seen it all: The Victim complains and makes excuses, the Rescuer tries to fix it, and the Persecutor comes running to the office to tattle. It’s paridoxical that sometimes the managers can identify everyone else on the triangle but doesn’t see their own role.

Here’s a clue that you are on the triangle: If you are experiencing upsets, stress or otherwise painful interactions, if you don’t know how to deal with your staff and their problems, then you too are on the triangle!

“But I know I am not a victim or a rescuer” I can hear you saying. Perhaps that is true.

You may not be ON the trigngle but you are IN the triangle. You are smack dab in the center of the triangle, the fourth position that we call denial.

Denial is what happens when you don’t acknowledge what is going on around you. An easy illustration of denial is to take a personal example: Your spouse says, “We’ve got problems and we need to talk,” and your response is, “I don’t have any problem. The problem is yours. Everything is fine, as far as I’m concerned.”

However,if you are a part of the relationship (assuming you want to continue the relationship) and the other person thinks the two of you have problems, then either someone is delusional or someone else isn’t paying attention. Either way, you’ve still got problems. Denying that the problem exists creates a sense of safety, by believing that if you stick your head in the sand the problem will go away.

So what does this have to do with business? Lots.

Here’s how it shows up in the business world. An employee finally gets the courage to approach a supervisor to tell the supervisor that she doesn’t like his yelling and ranting. The supervisor says, “I’m not yelling. It’s only your perception.” Or, the accountant notices discrepancies in the bookkeeping but knows that adjusting it means that no one gets the bonus. Or as a manager you know that one employee has been harassing the other employees, yet the one you have to discipline is the one who brings in all the sales, so you make exceptions. Avoiding the issue is a way to avoid taking responsibility to change the problem.

What you don’t know or acknowledge about yourself or your business will hurt you, yet coming out of denial is also very painful. Just think back to a time when someone told you something about yourself (or your business) that you didn’t know or didn’t like, for example, you interrupt, you are not a good listener, or your customer service stinks.

There are many theories about the dynamics of denial regarding relationships and personal growth. David Hawkins, Ph.D. in his book Power Versus Force, says that denial comes from pride. Hawkins says that most people are more attached to being right about their situation, than they are committed to facing the truth of their situation. (You’ve probably heard the Proverb “Pride goeth before a fall and a haughty spirit before destruction.”)

My theory is that coming out of denial is painful because it is like awakening after a surgery. As long as you are under the anesthetic, the surgeon can cut through your skin and sew you back up and you don’t feel a thing. But, you can’t stay asleep forever. Eventually you have to come out of the anesthetic (denial) and face the pain.

Recently I had the privilege of interviewing Dr. Karpman to get his insights to my theory. Dr. Karpman added that when a person comes out of surgery and off of the anesthesia and experiences pain, it takes lots of support to help that person while he heals. The same is true when someone is ready to step out of denial and face the facts. Staying under the anesthetic of denial is a way to avoid the inevitable pain.

Although coming out of denial is painful, there’s a price to pay for ignoring the facts, or from not being willing to investigate. Whether in your business or in your personal life, denial serves as a way to hide from the facts so that you can avoid responsibility.

Marlene Chism is a consultant and speaker working nationally with companies and associations to help them “Stop the Drama,”so that they can become productive and reach their potential. To visit the web go to http://www.icarepresentations.com or call 1. 888.434.9085 for more information.